View single post by redlotus333
 Posted: Sun Apr 21st, 2019 01:00 am
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redlotus333



Joined: Sat Apr 20th, 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 10
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Mana: 
I like it but, I agree, remove the asides to the audience. Doing that gives it away unless this is something that Chris does throughout the play and it's not a genuine twist for the audience. Definitely clean up the dialogue a bit. I didn't love "peachy-keen." Otherwise, great momentum.

Last edited on Sun Apr 21st, 2019 01:02 am by redlotus333