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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Waltzing with Corpses

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lostsocks
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Joined: Sun Jun 11th, 2006
Location: Cambridge, United Kingdom
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I'm now oft given to wondering
Which one of us did the other save
Who held the shovel?
Who rose from the grave?

The evidence is stacked against you
Your heart, it doesn't beat
But before your words poured into me
I was a corpse with working feet

When I exhaled your words
You breathed

I raised a match
And you blazed

As I lay your words to rest again upon my shelf,
I realise it is my own old cadaver that I throw down

We have been reborn

timmy
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Joined: Fri Jun 9th, 2006
Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
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...tribute poems are often blase and boring.  I did a bit of search on Emma Goldman, a person unfamiliar to me. 

This is spot on, imaginative and wonderful.  (Last line is a bit of cliche.  Do you need it?)

timmy

 

lostsocks
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Location: Cambridge, United Kingdom
Posts: 226
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Thanks, I think you're spot on about the last line, it had been a bit of a last-minute addition



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