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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Upon Learning the Next Clear Night is Tuesday

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Upon Learning the Next Clear Night is Tuesday  Rate Topic 
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 Posted: Mon Jan 29th, 2018 08:05 pm
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timmy
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Location: Oz, Minnesota USA
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Mana: 
 You come to me out of January
snow and when I ask

for a touch, you tell me all the homes
in Minnesota have dandruff.

You laugh until my mouth shelters
yours against the fireplace.

In the deep evening of my fear, I tell you
my needs keep me grounded

until I turn to stroke the whiteness
from your hair,

promise to have you home
before dinner.
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 Posted: Mon Jan 29th, 2018 09:01 pm
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Edd
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Mana: 
 I didn't know what was going on at first, not that I need to and probably shouldn't, and then I was hit by thunder. I am so afraid of that finale, I think I would dive off one of the Rocky Mountain cliffs first. There is too much pain there. Just too much pain for this old man.
Love, Edd
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 Posted: Sun Feb 11th, 2018 07:25 am
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RTurco
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Mana: 
 This is a masterful poem. It has such a haunting, undulating rhythm. Beautiful.
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 Posted: Mon Apr 30th, 2018 03:23 am
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timmy
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Mana: 
 Kind words from the two of you. Much appreciated.

timmy
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The Playwrights Forum > The Art & Craft of Writing > Poet's Corner : Critique my Poem > Upon Learning the Next Clear Night is Tuesday Top


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