Here's a revision of this one act. Hope you all enjoy.
Identity Theft
by
E. Ezra Antar
(A telemarketer, Rita, in her forties,
sits in a chair staring at a terminal.
After a few seconds she takes a deep
breath, mimes putting her headset on
and clicks the mouse on her computer
that calls the next person.)
RITA
Hello Mr. Needham? My name is Rita Davenport, and
I'm calling to offer you a once in a-- Hello? Fuck.
(Dials again)
RITA
(continuing)
Hello is this Mrs. Nester? Hello Mrs. Nester my name
is Rita Daven-- I'm telling you who this is. My name
is Rita-- Rita Daven-- I'm trying to tell you my
name!
(Sighs)
No, I did not know you were eating a cob salad--
Yes, I know what a cobb salad is-- No, you don't
have to tell me what goes into-- -- --I'm... I'm...
if you just give me- HEY!
(Hangs up)
Hope you choke on piece of bacon fat, douchebag!
(Dials again)
RITA
(continuing)
Hello is Mrs. Noche available? Good evening Mrs.
Noche. My name is Rita Da-- What's that? Oh.
(manipulates the voloume on the headset)
Is this okay?
(Move the mouse)
How about now? Can you hear me now?
(Beat)
Mrs. Noche I've got the volume-- I said I've got the
volume-- I SAID I'VE GOT THE VOLUME WAY-- THE
VOLUME-- I'M NOT SELLING VOLVOS-- THE VOL-- Oh fuck
it. Oh that you heard, huh. Well hear this.
(Sticks her middle finger up to the
mouth piece. Then hangs up.)
(She throws the headset off and puts
her head down on her desk.)
(Pause about ten five to ten seconds)
(Her cell phone rings "I Gotta Be Me".
She answers.)
RITA
(continuing)
Hi J. No honey, I've got to work late tonight again.
I know. I know and I'm sorry. I'm sorry sweety. I'll
make it up to you. I promise you I'll make it up--
On Saturday-- we'll make a day of it on Saturday.
Skating. Yes. and a movie. I know. I'd rather be
home too. I'm sorry baby. Is Maria there? Ask her if
she can stay till nine.
(Waits for the reply)
Shit. Sorry. Yes, I know you've heard the word. No,
you can only use the "shoot" version. Because you're
nine and I'm... aproaching assisted living.
(a breath)
Alright. Look. I can't come home till nine so you're
going to be alone for about half an hour. Is that
okay? Good. Make sure that the door is locked. And
don't answer the door for anyone. And if anyone
calls let the machine-- You're right. You're not a
baby. Alright sweety, I'll be home by nine. I love
you too. Bye baby.
(Hangs the cell phone up. Sighs. Puts
the headset back on. Prepares herself.)
(Clicks to dial the next number.This
time we hear a phone ringing)
(Lights up on Justine, a woman in her
sixties as she answers)
RITA
(continuing)
Hello.
RITA
(continuing)
Hello, is Justine O'Connor home?
JUSTINE
That's me darling. Who's calling?
RITA
Hi Mrs. O'Connor. My name is Rita Davenport, and
I'm calling to offer you a once in a lifetime
opportunity.
JUSTINE
Oh good!
RITA
Have you ever considered --
JUSTINE
Where are you calling from?
RITA
What?
JUSTINE
Where are you calling from, sweetheart?
RITA
I'm with First Fidelity Life.
JUSTINE
Really!
RITA
Yes.
JUSTINE
How exciting.
RITA
I'm glad you think so. I'm calling to let you--
JUSTINE
Where're you located?
RITA
Excuse me?
JUSTINE
Your location my dear.
RITA
Well, the banks home office is in New York.
JUSTINE
NO KIDDING!
RITA
Yes.
JUSTINE
That's where my son-in-law is from!
RITA
No kidding.
JUSTINE
A Jewish fella.
RITA
Huh.
JUSTINE
I like the Jewish.
RITA
Well we've got lots of'em.
JUSTINE
Are you Jewish?
RITA
No.
JUSTINE
Are you sure?
RITA
Yes.
JUSTINE
I think everyone's got a little Jewish in them.
Don't you?
RITA
I guess. But--
JUSTINE
What are you?
RITA
Excuse me?
JUSTINE
How were you raised... Demomination wise?
RITA
I was raised Episcopalian.
JUSTINE
Isn't that fascinating? Were both your parents
Episcopalian?
RITA
My adoptive parents, yes.
JUSTINE
You're adopted!
RITA
Y - yes. But if I could --
JUSTINE
Isn't that remarkable. Were a good to you?
RITA
I hate to sound rude, Mrs. O'Connor, but I really
need to discribe the opportunity to you and make
other calls.
JUSTINE
Of course. Sorry dear. Go ahead.
RITA
Have you ever considered the damages that can be
caused by identity theft?
(Beat)
Mrs. O'Connor? Hello?
JUSTINE
Yes?
RITA
Have you ever considered the damages that can be
caused by identity theft?
(Pause)
JUSTINE
Should I answer that?
RITA
Yes, please.
JUSTINE
(answering)
Yes.
RITA
You have?
JUSTINE
Should I have said No?
RITA
Either one will do.
JUSTINE
Let me go with No then.
RITA
Okay, well most people haven't--
JUSTINE
Oh good!
RITA
But the fact is that identity theft is a growing
threat that threatens the lives of many American
citizens today--
JUSTINE
I'll take it.
RITA
Excuse me--
JUSTINE
Oh, maybe uncle Ned and my sister Clara could would
like one.
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor --
JUSTINE
I'll take three bracelets! And can you put the words
"to my dearest" --
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor this is not jewelry!
JUSTINE
It's not.
RITA
No. Identity theft is when someone uses your
identity for their own personal gain. When someone
steals your identity to open bank accounts and
insurance policies in your name.
JUSTINE
Oh. Oh.
(Beat)
Is it sunny where you are?
RITA
(Sighs)
Mrs. O'Connor please.
JUSTINE
I'd heard about that horrible storm hitting the
north east and it made me so --
RITA
I'm in Florida.
JUSTINE
Silly me. I thought you had said New-
RITA
The home office is in New York. I'm out side of
Orlando.
JUSTINE
Oh I see.
(Beat)
So tell me more about this Identity Stealing. I'm
very interested.
RITA
You are? I mean...
(scrolls the mouse)
Well just last year alone there were over one
hundred and sixty thousand cases of reported
Identity Theft in this country alone, ranging simple
credit card use, to falsifying credit statements, to
purchased homes.
JUSTINE
Oh heavens!
RITA
Yes. Imagine what it would be like to suddenly
receive a statement claiming that you suddenly owed
millions of dollars--
JUSTINE
(calls out)
I'M ON THE PHONE.
RITA
What?
JUSTINE
I SAID I'M ON THE PHONE.
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor?
JUSTINE
JED! I'M ON THE PHONE.
RITA
Alright, you know what?
JUSTINE
Sorry dear. Could you give me one second, dear?
RITA
No, actually I Can'--
JUSTINE
(to Jed)
RITA!
RITA
(screamed)
WHAT!
JUSTINE
DAVENPORT!
(Rita freezes)
HER NAME IS RITA DAVENPORT WITH FIRST FIDELITY LIFE!
Yes. Florida. just outside of Orlando. What's that?
Episcopalian. Yes. I'll be off in a minute.
(Back on the phone)
Sorry dear. Go ahead.
(waits)
Hello?
RITA
Yes.
JUSTINE
Is everything alright?
(no response)
Hello?
RITA
Yes.
(Quite)
I'm just... just shocked that you remembered my name.
JUSTINE
It's a lovely name.
RITA
Thank you.
(Beat)
Thank you. Um...
(looks at her script)
Identity Theft... can... can...
JUSTINE
(Interrupting)
Oh dear. I'm so sorry. Hold on.
(To Jed)
Jed, sweetheart I'll make you a sandwich in a minute.
(Back to the phone)
Rita?
RITA
I'm here.
JUSTINE
I'm so sorry. He's not the same since he closed the
shoe shop.
RITA
Is that what he did?
JUSTINE
Yes. But since he closed the place... I'm afraid
he's gotten a little senile.
RITA
I'm sorry to hear that.
JUSTINE
I just hope it isn't that Alzheimers. God help me if
it's that. But, not to worry about things you can't
control, right?
RITA
I guess.
JUSTINE
...twhat my mother used to say.
RITA
Good words to live by.
JUSTINE
I know... but... somedays I get so frightened that
we'll be alone he'll... uch... Anyhow, go ahead
with your pitch sweety.
RITA
How long did he have the shoe shop?
JUSTINE
Well, it was actually my father's but all they had
was one daughter, me, so papa trained Jed. Turned it
over to him.
RITA
That was nice of him.
JUSTINE
Stern man, my father.
RITA
Old fashion, huh?
JUSTINE
The oldest.
RITA
Really.
JUSTINE
You wasn't at the table by six o'clock sharp, you'd
hear
(scottish brogue)
"Lassie, if you're not in seat for sup, you wait
till we're done, eat what's left. IF there's left."
RITA
He was scottish.
JUSTINE
Very.
RITA
Sounds it.
JUSTINE
How about your father. Was he a good man?
RITA
My adoptive father was great. Always seem to be
there for me... between me and my mother when ever
she'd...
(trails off)
JUSTINE
What dear?
RITA
She had a bit of a drinking problem.
JUSTINE
I'm sorry to hear that.
RITA
I don't think she ever considered me her own.
JUSTINE
Well, she didn't know what she was missing now, did
she?
RITA
Thank you.
JUSTINE
Of course.
RITA
I just make sure my daughter knows she's mine.
JUSTINE
You have a daughter? How wonderful. How old?
RITA
Nine.
JUSTINE
Oh I bet you love that lassie something awful.
What's her name?
RITA
(Laughs)
It's Justine.
JUSTINE
(Laughs with her)
Really! Isn't that just the darndest!
RITA
Yeah.
JUSTINE
Is her father a good man?
RITA
Who knows. I haven't seen the di--
(Cathches herself)
I haven't seen him till I told him I was pregnant
with J.
JUSTINE
With...
RITA
I call her J.
JUSTINE
Oh. So he left and never returned, huh.
RITA
I made my bed, so...
JUSTINE
And you chose to keep the baby.
RITA
Oh yeah.
JUSTINE
Interesting.
RITA
I mean... I support a woman's right to choose but I
don't think I could ever get rid of it.
JUSTINE
There are other options.
RITA
You mean adoption?
JUSTINE
It is an option.
RITA
I... I... I wanted her to know who she was.
JUSTINE
Of course.
(Beat)
RITA
Anyway, I guess I should finish making these other--
JUSTINE
Can we go ahead and purchase one of those--
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor--
JUSTINE
Call me Justine.
RITA
Justine... You don't need Identity Theft Insurance.
JUSTINE
Well now that's my call.
RITA
Yes but with your husband out of work and--
JUSTINE
Oh now, were doin' just fine.
RITA
It's thirty dollars a month.
JUSTINE
Just a spit in the bucket.
RITA
Are you sure?
JUSTINE
I'd like to purchase some, please.
RITA
Alright. Well... Let just confirm your information.
You are Mrs. Justine O'Connor at 434 Inhearitence
Drive, Monongbay, Wisconsin 53566?
JUSTINE
Correct.
RITA
And is this number that I called you at your home
telephone number?
JUSTINE
Yes.
RITA
Is there a business number?
JUSTINE
Non since with lost the repair shop.
RITA
Stupid me. Sorry.
JUSTINE
No problem dear.
(Rita is silent)
Hello?
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor are you sure you want to do this?
JUSTINE
Most definitely.
RITA
Alright then, before I get your payment information
I need one more thing. I need to get a piece of
information that no one would know so that we can
verfy you are you should we need to make a claim.
JUSTINE
Let's see.
(beat)
Well, there was the time I passed wind in gym class
and blamed it on Beula Mayridge.
RITA
(laughs)
No, something simpler like your maden name.
JUSTINE
Oh. That would be MacMullroy.
RITA
Could you spell that for me?
JUSTINE
Sure. M-a-c-M-u-l-l-r-o-y.
RITA
What an interesting name.
JUSTINE
Folks called him Mully.
RITA
Really.
JUSTINE
Mully Red.
RITA
Why Red?
JUSTINE
His hair.
RITA
Oh dear. Was his hair that... what did they call
him?
JUSTINE
Mully. Mully Red.
(Pause)
JUSTINE
(continuing)
Hello?
(Beat)
Hello? Rita--
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor could you hold on one second?
JUSTINE
Sure.
RITA
Thanks.
(Thows off her headset and dials her cell
phone.)
(Call is answered)
J, listen, I need you to do me a favor. Remember the
locket that Nana gave you before she died? That's
the one. Could you find it. I think you put it in
your ballet dancer box.
(Puts the headset back on the other ear and
clicks)
Mrs. O'connor I'll just be a second more.
JUSTINE
Not a problem sweetheart. I hope everything is okay?
RITA
Yes. I'll just be a second.
(puts her on hold. drops the head set.)
(Back on the phone with J)
You got it? NO! THE LOCKET! THE ONE WITH THE HORSE
SHOE. Yes. Yes. Hurry.
(Beat)
Thats it! Open it. What does it say inside.
(Grabs paper and pencil and writes.)
Let me read it back to you "To my loving daughter,
Bonnie Blue Eys, with all my heart,"
(Questioning the last two words)
Molly Red?" Are you sure it's Molly? Can you spell
it?
(Listen to the spelling)
Okay. Yes. That's actually pronounce Mully sweety.
That's right. It would be pronounced Mully not
Molly. That's okay. I'll see you in-- OH BLESS HER!
Tell Maria thank you and I'll take care of her when
I get home. Yes. I gotta go. Bye.
(Hangs up with J. Puts the headset back on and
clicks Justine off of hold)
Mrs. O'Connor?
JUSTINE
Yes dear.
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor did you have a sister named Bonnie.
JUSTINE
No child. I told you. I was the only child.
RITA
Are you sure?
JUSTINE
(ansering affirmative)
No child.
RITA
Some one with blue eyes?
JUSTINE
Well, my eyes are blue but...
RITA
Was your name ever Bonnie?
JUSTINE
No, sweetheart.
RITA
Middle name maybe?
JUSTINE
Honey, what's going on?
(Beat)
Rita?
RITA
Yeah.
(Discouraged)
I thought... I thought... never mind. Okay. I'll...
I'll take that credit card now.
JUSTINE
Hold on a second dear.
(Pause)
(Back on the phone.)
Hello?
RITA
Yes.
JUSTINE
Okay. I have a Visa.
RITA
That's fine.
JUSTINE
Number is... Oh dear. That one's expired. How about
a... no... no... Rita sweetheart. I'm real
embarrassed about this but all the cards... Jed use
to take care of the finances and it seems he forgot
to renew.
RITA
Don't worry about it.
JUSTINE
I'm really sorry.
RITA
Don't worry about it Mrs.-- Justine.
JUSTINE
I can call you back when--
RITA
It's okay.
JUSTINE
Oh dear. Well you take care then.
RITA
I will.
JUSTINE
And you take care of that lassie of yours. I'm sure
she's a beauty.
RITA
Most definitely. Bye Mrs. O'Connor.
JUSTINE
Bye now.
(They both hang up.)
(Blackout on Justine.)
(Rita calls J on the cell.)
RITA
Hi baby I'm comming-- what's that? No honey. I'm
leaving now. Yes I'll be home soon. Bye sweetie. I
love you too.
(Rita closes everything up, gets her
coat and puts it on. Takes handbag.
Closes the lights. Exits.)
(Bare stage for a about five to ten
seconds.)
(Rita enters again turns on the lights
and stares at her headset a moment.
Then puts it again and dials.)
(Lights back up on Justine.)
JUSTINE
Hello?
RITA
Hi, Mrs. O'Connor, it's Rita.
JUSTINE
Hello dear.
RITA
I'm sorry to bother you again.
JUSTINE
No bother dear.
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor have you ever... have you ever had...
JUSTINE
What dear?
RITA
I was about to leave. I was standing at the Bus
Stop... and... you used the term lassie, when you
referred to my daughter.
JUSTINE
I hope that was alright.
RITA
Are you sure you don't know anyone named Bonnie?
JUSTINE
Not to my knowledge.
RITA
Isn't... isn't Bonnie a term... a scottish term.
JUSTINE
It could be. Pronounced more like baunny... as in
Bonny Lass or Bonny Lad. What's going on dearie?
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor do you know of anyone that might have
been referred to as
(picks up the note she scribbled on)
"Bonnie Blue Eyes"?
(No Response)
Mrs. O'Connor?
JUSTINE
(stunned)
It's what my father called me.
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor... I... I have this locket... and...
and it's inscribed... and... Mrs. O'Connor, I'm not
sure how to ask this...
JUSTINE
Your father had died before you were born.
(sigh)
I wanted to keep you but my parents... they wouldn't
have it, with me being un-wed and all. I gave a
nurse money and told her to put my locket... to keep
it with the baby. I never knew if she complied.
(Begins to cry)
I wanted to keep you dear! I swear I wanted to keep
you.
RITA
It's okay. It's okay.
(The crying subsides)
What should we do?
JUSTINE
I don't know.
RITA
Can I call you from time to time?
JUSTINE
Absolutely.
RITA
Maybe we can meet some day?
JUSTINE
I would like that.
(Quiet)
JUSTINE
(continuing)
Take care of yourself.
RITA
Yeah.
(About to hang up, stops)
I'd thought about this moment throughout my life. I
always pictured what I would say. Most of it pretty
nasty. I conjured up images of someone cold hearted
and rude. Someone I could easily hate. Someone easy
to hate.
I can't.
JUSTINE
Not a day has gone by when I haven't thought about
the baby... they wouldn't even tell me if it was a
boy or girl... I knew it was a girl. Not a day. Not
one.
RITA
(unsure of what else to say)
Okay, then.
JUSTINE
Be well.
RITA
I will.
(Beat)
Mrs. O'Connor!
JUSTINE
Yes.
RITA
Did you... did you... really want to keep me?
JUSTINE
(smiles)
Most definitly.
RITA
(Takes it in)
Bye.
JUSTINE
Bye Bye dear.
(Lights fade on Justine)
(Rita grabs a tissue to wipe her
tearing.)
(She exits.)
(The End)
Last edited on Tue Feb 13th, 2007 03:05 pm by eezra
eezra, i know some will tell you the end (is it her daughter?) is a little too one in a million. but i think you should do a few readings and see what everyone thinks about it. you really don't need it, but it's fine.
I don't think the ending is too one in a million. I think life often happens that way. I do, think the story is lovely and sweet. I love the begining her....no patience, potty mouth. And I do think you have some tweaking to do here. The earlier phone conversations feel awkward as Rita scrambles to let the audience know what the person on the other end said. Why not have them there, like Justine? Why not have a spot go up on the other people on the phone?
I had an issue with the names being the same. Trying to imagine this red haired Scottish man calling his girl Justine. I also had issue with the locket...not because I thought it was gimicky...which it is...but who cares, I am very sure that this girl would have known by heart what the note in the locket said. Every word, every slanted letter and crossed 't'. I also felt it went very quickly from when she realizes to when Justine launches into I wanted to keep you. I think I needed to feel a stronger, longer moment there.
Still, this is a lovely story, one that should have tears flowing.
I agree with the initial phone conversations being a bit quirky. I may still do some editing on that, try to smooth it out. Or use actor's. I'm not sure.
Why did you have a hard time with the name Justine? Is it not something a Scotsman would name his daughter? Please fill me in on this. I'm not married to the name. I would, however, keep the names of the Rita's daughter and the older woman the same. Seperated at birth stories all have strange coincidences like that.
Finally, Rita's adoptive mother never told her about the locket. When she died, she gave the locket to J but didn't tell her where she got it. Rita might have looked at this piece of what she thought was costume jewlery once or twice and read the inscription but didn't pay much mind to it. Still the name "Mully Red" stayed in the back of her mind.
I'm not sure what gave you the impression that she knew this was a locket that had significance. If there was something in the story that went that way, could you pointed out. I wouldn't want an audiance to think that she's been searching for the inscriber all her life.
Thanks for your thoughts,
Eddie
PS I've re-posted the script with some minor changes. The most significant change is:
RITA
Mrs. O'Connor... I... I have this locket... and...
and it's inscribed... and... Mrs. O'Connor, I'm not
sure how to ask this...
JUSTINE Your father had died before you were born.
(sigh)
I wanted to keep you but my parents... they wouldn't
have it, with me being un-wed and all. I gave a
nurse money and told her to put my locket... to keep
it with the baby. I never knew if she complied.
Last edited on Tue Feb 13th, 2007 03:26 pm by eezra
Just didn't feel Scotish, but I'd like to hear it said with a thick brogue. I guess the call is the only one in a million I'd like to see in one play. The names being the same, for me...just kind of push it over the top.
